Dear Santa, if I can’t have Giroud for Xmas ;) then I want these two instead. I know they are like 17 but I promise I will be a good girl. Or else ur basic santa KTHXBYE
I realized that I no longer abuse stimulants to get me through life. I no longer turn to coffee to keep me awake. There was a time in college where I’d take maybe 6-7 shots of espresso a night to keep me up running on few hours of sleep for many days in a row. Now it’s a combination of I’m old, and I refuse to put my body under that type of stress, so I’ve pretty much cut caffeine out completely aside from one bag of green tea a day - just for the taste.
Anyways it’s not just coffee. It’s that when I’m stressed I will always turn to something. Usually it is sugar (also a stimulant), or binge eating, or sometimes even cigarettes but that’s very very rare I HATE smoking. I think I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I am stressed, and I say to myself ok I need to work this out with myself and only myself, and not abuse myself in any way to get over these times.
Perfect after my rant too.
I’m sick of society trying to tell us that a woman’s sexuality is something that she should be ashamed of. And if a woman dresses a certain way, or wears certain things she must be a whore, and is obnoxious somehow. I would agree that there are places where you should dress appropriately or respectfully, like places of religious worship, where they have certain traditions, or to work - it would not be appropriate to have you ass and tits out, but that’s not what I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed at people here thinking somehow a woman in a thong at the beach is tacky. How is that tacky? You know what is though, awkward ass tan lines. When I was in Brazil, I was amazed and impressed at how confident the women were, and that they were pretty much always in a thong bikini regardless of what shape and size they were, and almost all of the women there were on the bigger side too. However, in America we tell people you need to be covered head to toe at the beach if you don’t fit a certain image. Or even if a woman just has curves, she’s suddenly vulgar. Well excuse me I didn’t choose to have boobs they just grew, but ok I’m trashy for something that I can’t help.
And too many times women feel bad for sexual crimes that MEN commit. Women are the ones who struggle with themselves for years when they are raped. Luckily nothing that terrible ever happened to me, but I had to deal with sexual harassment from someone I had ZERO interest in as more than a friend. I trusted this person as my FRIEND, and this ass-cunt felt NO REMORSE for making me feel extremely uncomfortable to the point that I became extremely angry because it was beyond disrespectful, and honestly I felt SCARED because what IF I was raped? Most women are raped by people they know, not strangers. While I was not the one to choose to sexually harass anyone, and I ended up allowing myself to gain a ton of weight, dress like a homeless person, and to look as unattractive and unfeminine as possible for several weeks, and now that I think of it, it may have even been an underlying reason to why I chose to cut my hair really short because long hair is traditionally feminine, and at that point I was uncomfortable being in a woman’s body. All of this now that I think back on it, not only did I make no effort to look good, I purposefully made an effort to look not just bad, but less traditionally feminine because I was ashamed of my sexuality because I felt that it had caused me the pain of someone else expressing their attraction in an the most offensive way. Therefore I didn’t want that attention, so I had no motivation to look or feel attractive.
Or even one time in a place I used to work, I wore a skirt one day, very modest, hit my knees, with opaque grey tights underneath, and I went to ask another employee a question, and his creepy 40 year old ass just kept staring at my legs the whole time. Or another time he came to my desk, and I was wearing a button shirt, and I pretty much felt him staring at my chest every time I wasn’t looking. And the thing is because of stuff like this I prefer wearing pants at work, and large loose sweaters. It’s even influenced me today. I definitely want to look as modest as possible at work, but to the point where I even eliminate some professional wear because I feel like they accentuate certain body parts too much. And the whole issues becomes the woman thinking what should I wear so I’m not sexually harassed, and not the men thinking maybe I should not blatantly stare down a girl half my age and make her feel uncomfortable.
The criticism comes from women as well. It also made me self conscious when a female coworker noted that I had a large chest one day when I wore a buttoned shirt. And there’s really such a double standard. Like men can be topless wherever they want and it’s acceptable but if a woman does it it’s going to call criticism. OK I will admit I’ve criticized other women for dressing indecently, but it’s more along the lines of when she’s walking down the street topless with pasties on only - I mean I would think the same of a man walking down the street with a sock over his … But I’m talking more about women being criticized when it’s certainly ok to be naked, like at the beach, or at the gym even if a girl is in a sports bra and shorts people will say she’s either looking for attention, or that she doesn’t have the body for that type of look. Well if she’s feel good about herself, why do others have to bring her down?
I think feminism is not about women trying to be the same as men. Women and men are different, and will always be different, but that’s no justification to why women are treated unequally. Feminism is about empowering women, and that can’t happen if women still feel embarrassed or uncomfortable in the body they are in.
Don’t know when, don’t know how, but my next long trip will be in Southeast Asia for sure. Would love to just spend 3-4 months there and see EVERTHING in Thailand, Cambodia, Burma especially. I’ve heard so many amazing things about Southeast Asia. I know I would never want to live there - that’s why it would be the adventure of a lifetime.
Plus I’ll meet even more Australian friends, for when I move to Australia.